You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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