so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
