Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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