Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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