Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
