I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
