I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
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I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
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He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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