ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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