Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
