Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Randomize
