She's JV to your varsity
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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