i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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