You're so nebulous sometimes
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
