Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
