Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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