I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
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A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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