You smell like stripper and shame
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
