great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
