My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
