i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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