I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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