once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
