these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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