The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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