you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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