I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
