Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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