I want to walk on stilts...naked
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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