Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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