After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
