I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he thought i was a dude.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
