i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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