my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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