she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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