normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
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I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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