I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
MIDGETS
????
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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