We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
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I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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