DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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