Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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