Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
