listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Too much gin, very little bucket
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize