He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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