how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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