so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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