all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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