what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
