so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
