When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
