You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize