we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
