If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
