I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
