I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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