super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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